Depression, Fashion, Inspirational, Style, Women's Fashion

2019 The Year of Change…

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Hello friends, boy have I miss you guys. I have had so many things going on with my life, I just couldn’t find the time to write a blog posts. You know… from time to time, it’s great to take a step back to re-evaluate things. That’s exactly what I’ve done, and I like to think I’m better and ready to tackle what 2019 will bring me. 

2018, was a really hard year for me if I must be honest. I battle things I thought I had left behind years ago. So, let’s get into it! A few years back I talked about my battle with depression. The thing about depression it never truly goes away, you just try and deal with things differently. That’s what I thought I was doing, when I realized that I was sinking yet again. 

I started to gain weight, and just didn’t like the person looking back at me in the mirror. I often thought, girl you have a lot to be thankful for, why dwell on the negative. I would stay in my room, and stair at the walls in disbelief that this was my Life. I spent a great deal of time on social media to try and escape from things going on in my life. The thing with that though was, that didn’t help my situation it only made it worse. 

I found that nothing was really making me happy anymore. I didn’t want to shop, and definitely didn’t want to take photos. I saw more death in my family in 2018, and it hit me so hard. I thought how will I go on… how can I pick myself up and keep pushing. Because I knew in the end, I was a survivor and God had bigger plans for me. The funniest thing was, I was getting older and I’ve yet to live to my full potential. When will I get it all the way together? Instead of continuing down that road, I turned to someone I will call my angel. 

Let’s just say this person came into my life at the right time. My fear was having so many things going around in my head and not being able to share them with anyone. I now had an outlet, and I could feel things starting to get better. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still not the person I would like to be, I’m just dealing with it day by day. My angel made me see that my life had meaning.

Depression will have you thinking that your life is worthless, and no one really wants to know how things are going in your life. That is probably the biggest misconception EVER. My angel showed me that was so not true. I knew deep inside that I had beat this battle before, and I would beat it again. All my life, I’ve had conversations with God daily, but this day was different. My grandmother appeared and told me things may not always go my way, but just keep fighting the fight and tell the DEVIL not today. 

I have claimed that 2019, will be the year I live to my full potential. I will not neglect myself anymore. I will be more consistent with things that make me happy. I will get back to the girl that SMILES, and know that smile is REAL. I will be open and honest because my TRUTH could change someone else. So… here’s to a phenomenal year. 

Until next time, 

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Top/ Gordmans

Jeans

Boots/ JustFab

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Alone, Cold shoulder, Life, Petite Fashion, Single, Style

Single and Alone When All Your Friends Are In Relationships…

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This is probably the hardest post I will ever make, but here we go… It’s been six years since my last serious relationship, and at first I thought I was okay with that. Well lately I’ve been yearning to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. It’s that empty feeling, I feel sometimes. “Hard to face though” Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone on dates, but it never amounted to anything. Through this time, it has allowed me to work on me, so I can be the best I can be to my future King! I don’t want a man just for the sake of saying I have a man. My goal is, and has always been to have a man that will complete me.

In my quest for working on me I have also refrain from sexual intimacy. I know what you may be thinking, six years is a very long time, and OH it REALLY is. Well I suppose I put more focus on other things in my life that make me happy, and time just flew by. Trust me, I would love the opportunity to have the kind of intimacy that doesn’t end with my clothes off though. That’s very hard to find these days. I refuse to compromise myself just for that moment. I was asked by a friend don’t you like sex, my answer was of course I do. But… there is more to life than just the act itself. Can you Stimulate my mind?

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Definition provided by Google.

As I look back on how long it’s been, I said know way it’s been that long (trust me it really has) where did the time go. However, I don’t want to wait another six years. But, when I think about it, I have zero tolerance  for BS with men. Side note: it just might end up being another six years, but I hope not. Most of the men, I’ve come across lately don’t want to take the time to get to know you. What’s up with that?? I have people say you attract what you give out, what does that really mean? I carry myself like a lady, that deserves and want more.

The fact that I haven’t been in a relationship has also brought me closer to God, and the love I have for him is one that can’t be shaken. I pray daily, but I don’t ask God to send me a man. When it’s my time, it will happen and only then. Being single and alone doesn’t have to be a death sentence. I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, especially when you may see so many of your friends in successful relationships. And who likes being a third wheel, or the only single person at gatherings? So guess what, I will just continue attended events that don’t require a date. Now at the end of the day, I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a bit envious of those in happy relationship, but my time will come. Am I the only person left in this world thats single, I do feel that way sometime. You just never know what your friends or others have gone through that got them to that level of happiness. Focusing on YOU is key!

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Definition provided by Google.

As adults we have to make hard choices, and that means looking deep inside yourself to re-evaluate and regroup. I’m loving the WOMAN I’m becoming in this time though, and my King will love me too. In the end, I don’t need a lot to make me happy. So in essence, I do have a very fulfilling relationship, and it’s with the almighty God, he never lets me down. He accepts me with my flaws and all. He doesn’t judge me. He loves me unconditionally. He brings me the joy that I need, not what I want. I have always had faith, and believed in God, but during this time my relationship with him has truly evolved.

 If you are facing a similar situation, take this time to mediate and pray and know you are not alone. I say to all Women, don’t compromise who you are to be with a man just to say you have a man. YOU deserve more, and who doesn’t love a great love story. And always remember, being alone doesn’t mean lonely.
Until next time, have a great day!

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Fashion, Life, Petite Fashion, Women's Fashion

The Big 5-0…

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I have so many emotions going on right now. Wow, I can’t believe in just one day I will be turning 50. Where did the time go? I have learned so much through the years, because if you’re not learning, you’re not growing. I would be lying, if I didn’t say that I’m a bit scared though.

When I was in my 20’s and met people in their 50’s, I thought that was so old. Now that day is fast approaching for me, and I feel younger than I ever had. Does that even make sense? I don’t look 50, so why should I worry.

So for my 50th birthday, I decided I would take a cruise. Something about being on the water puts things into perspective. As I’m writing this, I look out at the water and I feel so free and full of life. I have so much living to do, and will take each day as another venture.

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If you don’t know, my mom is my best friend and biggest supporter in all that I do. So the fact I get to celebrate with her on my 50th birthday is the greatest gift of them all. This is her first cruise, so let’s just say September 12, will be a day neither of us forget.

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I believe in life, the things I went through in my younger years, has truly prepared me for this next chapter in my life. Now don’t get me wrong, my 20’s was okay, but my 30’s were the best. So sad, I can’t really remember much about my early 40’s, maybe cause those were the years I was married and very depressed. The later part of my 40’s was when I decided to take a leap and start my blog. Can you say this was the best decision EVER!

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So, 50 I’m ready for you, and all the exciting things that are going to happen. Happy Birthday to me!

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